Do you ever wonder what next after life is done? When this fleeting breath leaves your body and your lifeless body is reunited with the very dust it came from, do you wonder how it will be? Will the spongy box they put you in be comfortable? What if you are claustrophobic like I am? Will the space in your new abode in the ground be enough? Will you feel the weight of the soil once it's thrown down to cover your new residence? How will you cope in the darkness 6 feet under? Will you be ready? Will you have accomplished your goals? Will you have fulfilled your dreams? Does it scare you? What will you miss? Will you have any regrets? When you see the grim reaper approaching with the "End" to your book of life, will you scream and kick for another chance or will you confidently let him ink it on that last chapter?
Yeah, I know it's spooky and even taboo to talk about death while you are still living but lately I have been thinking of the life beyond. Don't get me wrong, I know & I believe in life after death. A relationship with God guarantees you eternal life - John 11:25 "Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and life. The one who believes in me will live even though they die and whoever lives by believing in me will never die" - but I keep wondering WHAT IF God decided that my time on earth is done?
I'm I Ready? - Honest truth is, I'm freaking NOT ready. I have however made peace with the fact that God is sovereign & at anytime and without consulting me, He may decide to take me home. Job 12:10 "In His hand is the life of every creature and the breathe of all mankind". Just so you know, I still haven't ticked off so many items on my bucket list. I wanna build a media empire, I wanna travel the world, I wanna write a book & most of all I wanna have a family.
Does It Scare Me? - Yes it does scare me. It scares me thinking that I will no longer see my family and friends & the kind of pain & sorrow they will have to endure. It scares me that I will be all alone in a cold dark place. It scares me that I may not have accomplished my dreams/goals. Most of all, it scares me cause I've got no idea what lies beyond. I know we have the promise of eternal life & heaven but still, how does the journey in between look like? Is it dark & scary or is it a light filled path? Before the sounding of the trumpet for us to be raised when Christ comes, where will we be? 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 "For the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first". Not knowing scares me.
Why? - I honestly DO NOT know why my mind has been thinking of death lately. Is it a premonition? I wish it was. Cause then I would prepare my loved ones and maybe, just maybe the heartache won't be as much. Then again, it could be a premonition, who knows? I hear some people can tell when they are almost "lefting" the "Life Whatsapp Group". No, I am not planning to die, at least not anytime soon. I really don't think anyone really plans to die LOL. If given the chance, trust me I would ensure that I never die. I would want to get caught up in the clouds with Christ when He comes back for us. 1 Thessalonians 4:17 "After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever". Just in case God calls me home and you get to read this after you see RIP on my wall there are a few things I would want you to know.
I love my family - Yaas!! I'm crazy about my family. God blessed me with such a strong & awesome family that I'm convinced He must have had a sumptuous meal of Ugali & fried Ingokho {french for Chicken :D :D :D } before He plastered the address on my forehead when He dispatched me after forming me. I got the best. I love them intensely & I would go to the ends of the earth for them.
I love my friends - they say that friends are the family you choose for yourself and I sure love the choice I made. I've made some bad choices of course and needless to say, I was burnt but I don't for one moment regret making them. I believe in quality over quantity so I keep a very small tight knit circle of friends and as life would have it, over the years I've lost a couple of friendships and it hurt. I picked up the pieces and moved on and amazingly God brought along other divine connections.
I love God - I'm crazy about Jesus and my relationship with God is one that I treasure. While I was still a sinner, God sent His son to die for me just to reconcile me to Himself. What manner of love is that y'all :-) :-) :-) My relationship with God is interesting and complicated. We have our moments but I love that He understands me better than anyone ever will or ever could.
I love food - Food and I are inseparable. In particular, Potatoes aka Warus. I could eat Warus everyday of my life and be ok with that. If I was stuck on an Island, I would make sure that there is a constant supply of potatoes LOL. It's however unfortunate that I cannot indulge in this heavenly piece of delicacy as much as I want to cause I pile on the Kilos fast and losing them is an uphill task. I love cooking. I don't know of any food lover who is not into cooking. I love trying out new recipes and adding a nice littu twist to them. My greatest joy is having my peoples enjoy the food and wonder what I've added to make it taste that good.
Are there are any lessons that I've picked up that I would want to share with you? Of course yes, but I'm gonna keep them to only 10.
- YOU are responsible for your life. Life will not always go the way you want and you most certainly will encounter curve balls along the way but ensure that you stay in charge of your life. Don't blame people for your actions/reactions. If you mess up, own up, make amends and keep moving.
- Love. Intensely & unreservedly. Love makes the world go round. Love yourself, love your family, love your friends, love even your enemies too :P , love what you do. Love will disappoint you and often times hurt you deeply but you will be glad you loved and lost rather than never knowing the bliss of loving. Let love be the driving force behind what you do.
- Forgive. Easily & oftenly. Harboring unforgiveness will only cloud your heart and burden it with bitterness which will in turn poison your entire being. Forgiveness liberates your soul and mind. It doesn't matter whether the person who wronged you deserves it or not, forgive and move on. Also, that you forgive them doesn't mean you have to accept them back into your space. NO!
- Never apologize for your dreams/choices. Make choices that make you happy and don't feel bad. Pursue your dreams fearlessly even if it looks like you are going crazy. Chase after that which you want and never apologize for it.
- Slow down. Life can get too fast at times. Yes, at times it does feel like you are on an unending rat race but take time out and slow down. Smell the flowers. Dance in the rain. Have a hearty laugh.
- Reach out. If you are in trouble or are feeling overwhelmed, don't shy away from reaching out and asking for help. Don't stay quiet and crumble on your own yet there is someone who will understand and won't judge you.
- Be nice. Yes, I said it. Be nice. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing of. Be kind. If it's within your reach, lend a helping hand. You never know, your kind action could be the difference between someone finding strength to keep moving and breaking down.
- Don't be too harsh on yourself. We are our own worst critics but how about you change that. Be kind to yourself especially when you make a mistake. Forgive yourself and extend to yourself the grace you extend to others. Forgiving self can be one of the most difficult things to do but learn how to do that.
- Pray. Never cease praying. Prayer is just you having a conversation with God. Having a conversation with God in the best way you know how. In honesty, with no rules, no do's and don'ts. Pray about every single detail of your life. Nothing is too trivial for God to listen to and answer.
- Take care of yourself. Take care of your physical health. Take care of your mental health. Take care of you emotional health. Do not push yourself too hard trying to please the world when you are slowly shutting down. If and when you feel the need to detach and go reconfigure, by all means do that. When you feel overwhelmed, slow down and take some time to regain your focus.
P.S Don't be spooked or call for a prayer & fasting session to preserve my life I'm not going anywhere anytime soon
SHE LIVED. SHE LAUGHED. SHE LOVED.