Once upon a time several months ago, I got the crazy idea that I needed to find out if there was more to God/Faith/Salvation - crazy right? I was your regular Sunday kinda christian. I'd faithfully go to church on Sundays, praise/worship, listen to the sermon and wait for the next Sunday. I however started wondering if there was more. I remember sitting down with a friend and asking her "Is there more to salvation than just being guaranteed eternity?" As in we are encouraged to desire deepeer levels but what happens when you get to that deeper level, what next? She looked at me puzzled like what do you mean!! You keep pursuing a deeper deep than the deeper you're at.
So one night I knelt beside my bed as was usual before turning in for the night but this night I had an interesting request. I asked God to show me a deeper level than the one I was at. I had no idea what I was signing up for but I mean there is nothing wrong desiring to launch deeper and deeper into what God has for His children right? . That was the beginning of a journey that I can only describe as a cocktail - Sugar, spice and everything nice.
The journey has been crazy - there have been moments of tears, laughter, uncertainity, great fear and wanting to get off the ride but yoh!!! It's been awesome. I didn't know what that prayer meant, all I just knew is I wanted more of God and the Holy Spirit. Above all, there has been ingnited such a hunger in my Spirit that has me pursuing God like crazy. I keep asking my friend if it's normal to feel the way I do. Coz I kid you not, at times I feel like I'm about to lose my mind LOL. I feel what David wrote in Psalms 84:2 "My soul yearns even faints, for the courts of the Lord: my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God".
One minute I'm a happy-go-lucky-gal just YOLOing through life loving God, the next moment I'm overwhelmed by this deep desire and longing to pursue God. Many are the times I wish I could relocate to an island with no sign of human life and just be there with my Maker! I know God is omnipresent, He's practically with me everywhere but the noise/distractions of everyday life make Him seem so far away.
As I write this, I don't know where this journey will take me. Am I scared? Of course I am. Am I tempted to jump off? Absolutely. I however won't coz God's grace is available. 2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness". I'm excited to pursue God. He has promised to be found. Jeremiah 29:12 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart".
Come along and let's see where this goes. I promise it's gonna be fun and adventurous. We live, we learn, we laugh.