Boy meets girl, boy likes girl & drops smooth lines. After what seems like an eternity & lots of hard work, girl decides to give boy a chance and soon they are inseparable. Numerous coffee/lunch/dinner dates later & evening walks in the park, boy is convinced that he has finally found his Proverbs 31 lady love and makes elaborate plans to put a ring on it before someone else beats him to the finger. Boy plans a romantic getaway, summons all the courage he has, goes on his knee, utters some sweet words and pops the question :-). Smitten and completely taken by surprise, girl says yes amidst sobs.
Girl is over the moon and can't wait to share the great news with family and friends. Over the next few weeks, congratulatory messages flood in with everyone wishing the newly engaged couple an awesome journey ahead. Once the excitement cools off, the couple realize they need to get down to business - make solid plans for their big day. Where to start? I will highlight three critical areas that I believe form the foundation for the planning process.
1. Set a date for your big day. Have a chat and decide on the best possible date for the big day. When discussing the date, a lot of compromise will have to come from both parties. To ensure that you have a successful day, decide on a date that both of you agree on as it will be very unfortunate if one party feels they have been bullied to accepting a date they didn't fancy. In setting the date, you may also need to involve your parents/guardians and find out if they will be available on the dates you have picked or if they have any suggestions. If you come from an African setting, then you know that the Wedding date is not the only one you will be deciding on - you have to pick a date for visits to your parents/guardians, negotiation visits & eventually dowry payment. In some cultures though, the couple has no control over the choice of date as the parents get to decide which date they think would be best.
2. Discuss preferences. You need to talk about your preferred venues for the ceremony, whether you want a themed wedding or not, what your theme colors will be and so on. As a Bride to be, you may be tempted to get carried away and think it is all about what you want. It is very advisable to let the groom also feel part of the big day by taking into consideration his preferences and choices. For the theme color though I can assure the bride that you will have a walk over, highly depends on your convincing skills though. Again, a lot of compromise will have to go into this.
3. Prepare a tentative budget & discuss how you will raise the money. If there is anything that poses a great challenge when planning for a wedding is the financial bit. If not careful, it can cause a rift between the couple. At this point it is important to mention that as a bride to be, you may need to manage your expectations based on the available finances. Plan for what is within your reach. Avoid putting a strain on yourselves by locking down a huge chunk of your finances for the wedding yet it is only a one day affair. There is life beyond the wedding day and I'm sure you wouldn't want to struggle and stumble through the first few months or even years of your marriage trying to stabilize financially.
Once you are done with the above, you are well on your way to realizing your dream of a successful and fun filled day :-).